EXPAT STORY: Courtney Bowden | Chapter 12

Something deep down felt like if the stars didn’t keep aligning for me, if God and my ancestors didn’t keep divinely protecting me, and if I didn’t get the hell out of there SOON, there was a possibility that either myself or my husband could be the next hashtag(s).

Latest Post EXPAT STORY: Courtney Bowden | Chapter 20 by Courtney Bowden members

None of This Is Necessary.

Alpharetta, GA

I was 32 at the time of that incident.

At 32, navigating whiteness had officially exhausted me.

I was burned out with having to maneuver within it at every, single turn.

I was depleted. I was drained. I was that Solange album.


I had also spent the first 24 years of my life existing at the margins of communities I was (often reluctantly) granted entry into solely because of either economic status…or because of affirmative action.

At 32, I was tired of integrating spaces.

I was tired of being the "acceptable" one chosen to meet the quota...

Tired of spending the majority of my time in spaces that never had to adjust me, yet I always found myself adjusting to them for my very survival...

And tired of managing other people's irrational fear of my very presence.

So while I didn’t quite have the language for it during the neighbor-police incident, something in me shifted permanently that day…

The day I told my white neighbors that my blood would be on their hands if they kept calling the police on me for things that could be friendly conversations instead.

Courtney Bowden

Published a year ago